Envy Knows First

Ever encountered someone else’s work or creative output and felt a pang of envy? Envy is often something we swallow, explain away, or dress up as something more acceptable, like admiration or inspiration. We’re usually taught to be ashamed of it.

What if envy wasn’t a flaw, but data?

Envy doesn’t attach itself to things at random; it tends to be super specific. You don’t feel it about everything or everyone, only when it touches on something unmet within ourselves. This specificity is worth paying attention to because it knows what you want before you’ve given yourself permission to want it.

The shame we feel makes sense because we are embedded with the sentiment that desire is dangerous. If we ask for too much, we are greedy, ungrateful, and never satisfied. Better to make ourselves small and ask for less, right? This kind of conditioning doesn’t make the wanting disappear, though; it just drives it deeper underground until it breeds resentment.

Instead of suppressing your envy, what if you approached it with curiosity. When you feel that pang, encountering someone’s life, work, or creative freedom, inspect it before dismissing it. Ask: What is landing on me here? What permission have they given themselves that you haven’t given yourself yet? 

Envy points us toward what we want and urges us to look in that direction. It will tell you something true about what you’re hungry for underneath it all.